Fathers Day and what it means to me
I've received some feedback regarding my blog that my readers don't no much about me. This post is not only to share a bit about my history but also a tribute to who I consider my perfect person and father to Kamille.
I lost my father to suicide when I was around 5 years old. I am super comfortable talking about it. Suicide is a terrible thing and not many comprehend it's relevance today. I have grown to understand and to not blame. I didn't get to do a school talent show or science project with my dad, I didn't attend a father daughter dance, I didn't fall asleep on his shoulder or in his lap, I never used the phrase, "I'm scared to bring you home to my dad" to boyfriends and I didn't ever get the chance to see any of myself in him. But, instead of talking about the things I didn't have, I DID have someone to walk me down the aisle, to dance the father daughter dance at my wedding, to give Danny their blessing, someone to teach me how to back flip on the diving board, someone to tell me stories over the barbecue and someone to love me like they would love their own daughter. With that being said; although something so tragic happened, I was lucky enough to grow up with reliable, fun and loving father figures; my dads two brothers and my grandfather. I love them like none other. I love them as if they were my bioparents.
Enough about me. On the other hand, I wanted to give my readers a sense of what a father means to me now that I've seen my husband with my daughter. I've stared in awe many times over again. The fact that the person I married, is by far the most perfect father in every aspect. A father that rocks his little girl to sleep, changes a poopy diaper every now and again and maybe even prepares her bottles (granted, its already pumped you just need to warm it haha). A real MAN and FATHER get passed these gender specific roles and play both parts in raising a child. Danny goes above and beyond all of these things. Since having Kamille, I have seen an entirely different side of him. He was no longer just my husband. He is forever my babies father. Our family changed from selfish acts for one another to make room for another person. I was no longer his main priority. I don't mean this in a negative way because he still cherishes me, but his, mine and our families future lies literally and physically in his hands. He loves her more than words can ever even come close to describing. So much that she gets a kiss before I do when he gets home from work. So much that he tells her how pretty she looks when she wears a new outfit before mine. And so much that he can look at both of us and say I have the most beautiful girls out there. I can tell with this genuine smile that he is utterly in love.
I just wanted to say to the fathers out there like Danny. You are appreciated for your work, your dedication, your love and all your support. God knows us women need it amongst all our emotional up and downs in motherhood.
Happy First Father's Day Danny Boy