• Destiny Kohlman

The Transition

It's been a minute; a minute since my thoughts have really hit paper (or keyboard you could say). I wanted my first post "back" to be current, real and transparent in what is happening day to day. My transition as a "civilian" to military spouse.

Moving across the country was seemingly easy and damn quick. If ya know me, like ya really know me. I love traveling, I'm mesmerized by new places and dissect how different cities and communities work. Exploring the "south" was interesting. Their usage of ya'll, ma'am and their lack of respect with using blinkers were some of my first observations. Now I've realized we're nearly all the same but different lol. All in all, I love our new home aside from being so far away from friends and family.


What I DIDN'T know DIDN'T hurt me. What I mean by this is that I have time to learn as a spouse of the military with each experience. I full force wanted to know every detail of every situation and needed to come to peace that it really isn't possible. What I've learned;



-You gotta be ride or die for your man, places are temporary, my career for now comes second. That's okay.

-Stop being a planner, the military is so unorganized and has no timeline but their own sis.

-Make the unknown "exciting" and not nerve racking. Where ya goin? I dunnno. When ya goin? I dunno. When's he training for "this"? I dunno. ***especially with COVID.

-You'll spend one full day calling every single insurance provider within TriCare, you ARE covered, don't you worry, but finding out by who and where, is like where's waldo for adults.

-Make sure your partner is taking care of all the stacks and stacks of paperwork that is involved in moving and dependents, if they aren't... learn for yourself.

-Join all the Facebook groups for MIL spouses at your duty station for event info, meet ups, babysitters, jobs, all the things.

-Explore all of base and what amenities it has to offer.



Before I close out, a funny story. There's one person that currently is my ride or die here. We hang out multiple times a week to get sanity from "what we don't know". Kidding but not really. Anyways, our first week here, Danny, Kamille and I met a huge group on the beach (under 10 of course) from his OCS class, people from all over the states and a few countries. I met some of his classmates along with their partners/spouses. What I'm hesitating toward telling you guys, is quite cringe worthy; looking back but I promise I meant well. So, I proceeded to chat, have a white claw or two with some of the significant others, in casual conversation, we asked if our guys were pilots or some other job within the Navy, we talked about being married or not and having kids or not (clearly having Kami with me, we were the only one) and if not married, when their significant other was returning home. I was unintentionally intentionally scoping out who was staying so we could hang, grab a drink or coffee. But, then as a few others showed up... the particular person I spend nearly all my free time with, I asked nearly immediately, I kid you not. "Are you a wife or a girlfriend"? Kill me now right, lol I was literally thinking, like are you going to be living here like me, or are you flying home, lets hang. Anywaysss it all worked out but... never again lol.



XOXO

Thanks for bein here,

-Des